Threesomes: Loving being a unicorn

When she initial questioned me personally if I’d be interested in playing with the girl and her heterosexual cis-male spouse, I found myselfn’t trying to find a three-way. I needed to understand more about sex with femme-presenting females.

I saw couples which looked-for thirds how many others perform, as questionable and simply into their particular benefits – just like the feared unicorn hunters.

But the woman information had been helpful, and I realized, ‘Have you thought to?’

I got no experience with threesomes with bi-curious lovers. I had only appear per year prior as a bisexual and polyamorous girl after concealing for many years, and leaping in one monogamous directly link to the second.

Becoming bisexual introduced the most common tags of being ‘dirty’ for enjoying women and men sexually.

Becoming polyamorous and engaging in casual sex suggested I found myself as well promiscuous, not mentally loyal sufficient, and branded a cheater before we even met for a coffee.

Getting plus-size with a human anatomy image/eating ailment only enhanced the thoughts of inadequacy and embarrassment for whom i will be.

And whenever she messaged me personally, advising me personally she believed I was stunning, and asking me to meet her along with her spouse for a drink and find out how exactly we thought, I got the chance.

Two lips in place of one, four arms rather than two worshipped my human body, and I them. And for the first time in a very while, we felt desired, appealing, and wanted. And especially, we decided i possibly could ultimately be me personally.

U

nicorn hunting
is quite
a term that defines
partners, normally cisgender, bi-curious types, searching for a third to participate them for intimate play. This
3rd
, appropriately called the
‘unicorn’
when it comes down to thought rareness regarding existence, is actually preferably a cisgender, slender, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious woman, a person who is solitary, delighted with no Strings connected (NSA) agreements, and will be intimately unique because of the couple.

I’m not a real unicorn when I’m maybe not unmarried, intimately exclusive, nor thin.

My personal major lover calls me a rainicorn rather. I find the definition of endearing as rainicorns (stirred by

Adventure Time

) enter all sorts of tints, shapes, and characters. I thrive on becoming a third for partners, bringing their own intimate dreams alive minus the additional strings of an emotional connection. I grab fantastic enjoyment in-being the thing they both desire.

Intimacy, for me, may be but an excellent time, a short night of love with no additional expectations.

Anti-unicorn shopping is rolling out from a necessity to highlight the harms that numerous bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting women encounter when they are hunted by couples for potential three-ways. It often encourages throuple and triad situations versus one-off intimate activities to ensure the rights of all of the involved.

And I get it. local bisexual women can be typically coated as promiscuous, sexual items, intimately experimental, hyper-sexual, and believed are upwards regarding and all of sex, including three-ways. Lots of have now been maltreated by this exercise of shopping, and that can not be reduced.

The truth is however, Im the majority of those things. Getting a unicorn has been the one and only devote which these aspects of my personal identity being consistently coated as myths about bisexual everyone is appreciated.

Because feminist philosopher Ann Cahill reveals, not to end up being sexually objectified, eg regarding fat ladies, is seen to be denied a sex and authorization to take pleasure from delight, something you should which I have felt strongly in the most common of my entire life.

Adopting this identity has allowed me to seek sexual fulfilment in a different collection of techniques, and to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, rather than deny it.

Im tired of individuals talking in my situation, assuming that I am usually at risk of exploitation from the sheer idea of my personal bisexuality and femme-presenting sex. That being hunted indicates i’m constantly prey. That I must always wish a deep, intimate, and continuous connection with two as opposed to some thing everyday.

W

hile the audience is painted as ‘rare’, i believe there could be even more women at all like me in covering up. In the end, why would we or any individual need to come ahead publicly as a unicorn, whenever discussion boards and stuff like that paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and only attempting to ‘spice up their particular dull or boring gender resides’?

Where really does that keep those of us who enjoy becoming section of those dynamics as the hunted?

Whenever shaming these lovers occurs, we’re also shaming the unicorns just who practice these methods. We are generating the narrative in which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be regarded as always naturally challenging activities, along with strengthening the idea that ladies merely ever before desire intimate link, we cannot possibly be interested in merely sex.

We must open area and become aware associated with the diversity of sexual encounters. We possibly may take part in a variety of sexual methods and involvements, as well as for many of us bi-women, getting promiscuous, prepared for NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, is certainly not a poor thing.

Neither is it an inherently unfavorable representation of bisexuality much more broadly. Most likely, it’s not the representation this is the problem, it is the method by which it really is weaponised.

Unfortunately, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ is doing a damn okay task of pathologising me, and females at all like me, because we dare choose to embrace aspects of ourselves being considered a ‘problem’ by others. Because we dare to be ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I am a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And I also don’t just like being hunted.

We fucking think it’s great.

Rainicorn works in analysis, targeting figures, sexuality and gender, intimate techniques, and health and well-being. She recognizes as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic lady, and it is gender good, kink/fetish positive, and excess fat good. In her own spare time, she loves decorating and producing songs, and the delectable delights associated with the carnal underworld.

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